i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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