What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
