Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
