I'd wear matching sweaters with you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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