the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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