I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
