woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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