Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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