She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
