I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
