My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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