I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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