Can Purell be used as lube?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
