First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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