He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
