My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
