Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
