Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
