Having a random hookup so left but love u
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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