how can u be prego again
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
