you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
