You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
