I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
