someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
