This is not my ceiling
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
