Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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