Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
