Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
