KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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