alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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