haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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