he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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