are you so shy because you have an std?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
