what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
