I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
