I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My butt remains clenched, sir.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
