Porn is love you can see.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
