I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize