I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
