You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm like, not good at living.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
