ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize