i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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