I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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