New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
