This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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