The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
