I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
