Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
PANTIES FOUND
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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