I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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