Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
