i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize