The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
