I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
