what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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