Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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