yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
