I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
