Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
