no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
