you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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